I often wonder what memories my children will have when they are older, will they look back fondly on the sunny days we spent sitting in the park, the walks through the woods and the paddling pools in the back garden, will they look back and appreciate the times I choose to spend our last available spare change on ice creams for them, and tirelessly worked out how to ensure food was on the table each evening, or will they forget these things? Will the little things be over looked as they embark on their futures and see what else the world has to offer or will they remember the wonder they saw in even the simplest of pebbles imagining them to have come from another world full of wonder and magic.
We don't have loads of cash to splash around and travel the world, we cant afford to spoil them with luxury cuisines or meals out in posh restaurants, exploring new cultures and seeing new places. I have never even been abroad. Hey, I haven't even been to London! My children therefore too haven't seen or experienced some of the most amazing things that life has to offer them. Living is expensive and each passing month sees me wishing that we had just that bit more to spare.
I try my best even up against all manners of obstacles to make sure they have the opportunities which hopefully will enable them to become adults who can follow their dreams and travel if they wish to, see so much more of the world that's waiting to be discoverd. But for now the only form of activities we can undertake have to be the ones which cost as little as possible as we constantly are finding ways to afford the dance lessons and never ending stream of new shoes and clothes as the growth spurts mark a daily reminder the years are passing by alarmingly fast.
And with each year that passes I see them growing up so very quickly, I see opportunities which we have to pass up because finances wont stretch and that pang of maternal guilt creeps in. Am I providing them with a childhood they will look back on fondly or will it be tarred with feelings of missing out and wanting to do so much more?
I don't believe money makes you happy, but it sure does bring opportunities, without it there is so much you just can't do, no matter how much we'd like to believe it isn't the case.
So today I'll spend a little time wondering what life could be like, and cling to a dream of a different world where money is no worry and a new opportunity is waiting each day, just for the day I will wish that life was abit different. Then I'll wake up tomorrow and enjoy what we have, appreciate everything that we are so fortunate to be able to experience and remember that the true meaning of life and wonder and discoveries are not only possible with a wallet full of cash.